Unmarried parents have a heck of a time finding any useful books on their situation. The few books that are available tend to focus on the legal rights of the parents, and not on the practicalities of sharing parenting with another adult.  

Most unmarried parents see themselves as different from divorcing parents and in certain sense they are right. Often they do not have the established long-term relationship that is being unraveled in the same way that divorcing parents have. Instead, they have have the equivalent of  what goes on during a new relationship - establishing control and figuring out how things are going to operate. This can be difficult when there is not a lot of love or trust, and the issues being clarified have to do with their children - their most important and protective relationship. Talk about high stakes pressure!

At the same time, unmarried parents have a lot in common with divorced parents. They are making the same decisions - determining legal custody, parenting time and child support for their children.  They are raising their children from two homes, just like divorced families. Just like divorcing parents, unmarried parents’ focus needs to be on how they can help their children’s lives remain whole, as the children move from home to home.  So until we get a number of good books for the millions of unmarried parents out there, let’s look past the language and get to the core of parenting from two homes.

Here are several books that, although written for divorcing parents, have solid information on  raising kids from two homes, and for figuring out some of the complex logistics of shared parenting.Joint Custody With a Jerk: Raising a Child with an Uncooperative Ex by Julie Ross and Judy Corcoran. Mom’s House, Dad’s House : A complete Guide fo Parents Who Are Separated, Divorced, or Remarried by Isolina Ricci How To Parent with your Ex: Working together for your Child’s Best Interest by Brette McWhorter Sember  Divorced Dad’s Survival Book: How to Stay Connected with Your Kids by David Knox Be a Great Divorced Dad by Kenneth Condrell Always Dad: Being a great Father During & After Divorce by Paul Mandelstein